You know what, I’m just going to tell her. Who cares if I look stupid or pathetic in the end… because you never know. Maybe she feels the same way and is just upset that I’m not taking the initiative (haha, yeah right..). BUT I WILL… sometime this week some how.
A lot of girls pin the whole gender of guys down because we’re players, we don’t catch on, we only want sex, we’re stupid, we’re this that and everything negative but in reality it goes the other way around just as well. I know an enormous amount of decent guys that are very well brought up but they go unnoticed because you girls are so blind to see who they really are. I’m going to admit and say I’ve done a good amount of breaking hearts. I’ve done the break up to go with another girl, I’ve used another girl just to break up with another girl, I’ve done a lot of playing around with girl’s hearts. but you know what ? I’ve grown out of it, I see the mistakes I made and I grew up. I’m not saying I’m perfect now, because I’m far from it… but would it kill you to notice who I am ? I mean really ? What more do I have to do to ? I take my VALUABLE time off and go to see you, even if it is for a couple of minutes.. I’m not going to sit here and explain everything but if someone were to see what I’m doing.. I’m pretty sure they would immediately know that I like you. I don’t know what I’m saying… Actually. I just came to vent because I got stood up by her today. In such a rude manner too. UGH. Pissed me the fuck off..
You guys ever feel like you’re just out of place when you’re with a certain group of friends ? I’ve known these niggas for over 6 years. We’ve been like best friends for about 4 or 5 years at that.. but every time I’m with them I still feel out of place some how. I still have fun and what not, but something just isn’t ever right. It started out as the 6 of us. Then, one of them split from us in high school. Then around when I moved out of state problems occurred and then the group kind of split. The girls split, and the guys split. I’m like, the neutral point though. I don’t hate either one of them.. Although, if I was to pick to hang out with one of them it will always be a certain group.. because they’re more enjoyable. I’ve met many good friends through them, but the other group.. they’re still stuck in their high school lives. It’s a little sad, but they’re still chill. It’s just really sudden how things can change. I go away for one year and come back to find my friends in this mess… Anyways, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m trying to say that I need to find my place. A place with friends. I just want some friendships you know, I’m not a loner though. Don’t misunderstand. The amount of friends I have is overwhelming, but I just don’t feel right in any of them. I feel out of place. I just need THAT group of friends. THAT group that will go on road trips with. THAT group that will have my back with everything. Just a comfortable group of friends I can be with without feeling out of place.
That was unexpected and fun, haha. So my friends called me out around 12:30. They told me to bring the bottle of smirnoff, but we didn’t even end up drinking it ! The original plan was to have an indoor bbq but it didn’t work out so we all drove to NY and got our asses some CHICKEN AND RICEEE ! …it was good for the first couple of bites but afterwards it was pretty nasty. Idk, something changed. Wasn’t really feeling it anymore.. so we just chilled. Ate. then drove back home, damn. My nigga Winston is leaving ! :( I didn’t even get to have a bro hug.. Good luck in the Philippines my nigga ! See you in 3 !
I gave her the chapstick/lipbalm today ! …It didn’t go as I had hoped it would, but I still got to give it to her. haha. She also bought me a cupcake, I usually don’t like chocolate cupcakes but this one was bangin ! …as we were walking to the bus stop (for her) we passed by times square and she said “Hey we should watch a movie or something tomorrow” and I was like FILLED with joy. HEHE… I dropped her off, I went home. the end. :)
Tomorrow. Will. Be. Fun… but I’m busy. I have to pick up some things, drop off some things, clean my house real quick, watch avatar, and then finally see her.
hehe. hehehehehehe. :) I’m happy.
Sitting here happy that I have no homework and projects so I can rest in the weekend but then realizing I have a shitload of work to get done..